it had arrived! finally, it had arrived!

i darted out, my parcel came in.

the tape was clear, yet wide and sticky.

the wrap was soft, but firm, and thick.

scissors dancing around the drenched, yellow edges,

a cut was made, and the book was free.

“crime and punishment”. classical literature.

i flipped through the papers, mesmerizingly so.

the font, i thought, was incredibly small.

the blocks, i saw, were scarily tall.

skipping to the end, the very last page,

604 sides. i can’t imagine how many words.

the first day was tiring, more than i’d thought.

i asked for this book, could i read the whole thing?

the sentences were lengthy, comma-filled pacing.

the paragraphs were more so; and with single line spacing!

placing my harp-formed bookmark between,

“it’s winter vacation, i have two whole weeks.”

then procrastination struck. reading felt hard.

i couldn’t find focus. each sound was a struggle.

the day was too full for me to take time.

the night was too late, it wasn’t my prime.

setting the novel back onto my desk,

each night i’d fall asleep, the guilt unsatisfactory.

but it all turned around! my lamp really helped!

i figured i’d read late, as nightfall would allow.

the position, still, was in no way pleasant.

the light was assisted by the sky’s shining crescent.

deciding on my own terms the beginning and end,

my progress and mood would steadily improve.

winter break was over. a school day took place.

i brought the book to silent reading. little did i know

the teacher in my room was a psychology major.

the novel in question was for the subject’s tenth graders.

taking it from my hands, he left, but came back??

what did he do with it? i may never know.

at last, by the close! page 604!

i remember it clearly. what a way to be done.

the conclusion of the book was better than i’d guessed.

the happiness i felt, at the time, was blessed.

seeing as it took me three weeks to end,

couldn’t i read faster? to the first page. again!

Babies cry,

Not aware of the walls they will have to face.

Growing up with only themselves,

And their parents,

In a sea of masks.

Not aware of the fact that some people they see,

Might be the last time the person glimpses the light of the sun.

Toddlers babble, argue, and play,

Not aware of the hardships they will face when developing.

Playdates happen less than usual.

Young adolescents,

Going through the most crucial parts of their lives,

Are swallowed in a sea of masks,

Even when they can still remember the smiles,

That were not smothered.

Teens,

Never getting the chance to celebrate the achievements they have accomplished.

Like graduation.

University students,

Trying to get degrees,

Try to contribute to society,

In a sea of masks.

All,

Being,

Lonely,

Sad,

Angry,

Confused,

Mad,

Bitter,

And bewildered.

Some are not able to cope with the stress.

Some are not able to cope with the madness.

Some are not able to cope with the sadness.

Some can’t cope with loneliness.

Some people succumb to the virus young,

Never seeing the light of the next day.

Children and adults never live normal lives.

“Hand sanitize!”

They say.

“Wash your hands!”

They say.

“Wear a mask!”

They say.

“Don’t touch your face!”

They say.

“Be safe!”

But they never say,

“Try to be happy and normal!”

Because no one can.

I no longer see happiness

as a prize to be won but

instead as a path to be

walked.

Rather than picturing

a gold medal waiting to be

handed to me as I soar

across a finished line,

I see mountain peaks and

valleys,

rolling hills and soft plains.

I see sun and breeze and

snow and rain

I see flourishing and growth

as seasons change,

I see great days

and bad days

and days somewhere in

between.

I see really big hard things

and I'm hopeful they don't

drown me.

I see really big good things

And small ones, too, all

around me.

I used to think I’d be happy

when I finally reached

some goal.

and I had this paralysing

fear that I’d make a wrong turn

and never quite feel

whole.

But I am right here

In the present

living a life that's full of beauty

and wonder and laughter

and tears and love

and I am so happy to be

here!

I silently watch

As the predators seek out their prey

They pelt him with sharp words that cut from inside

He waits for the storm to pass

As the predators seek out their prey

I want to speak but no words come

He waits for the storm to pass

Countless scars he has endured before

I want to speak but no words come

All animals are afraid of wolves

Countless scars he has endured before

His pains are victories to them

All animals are afraid of wolves

They pelt him with sharp words that cut from inside

His pains are victories to them

I silently watch