WRiting Contest #2 - Monologue

Intermediate Category Winning SUbmissions

Agitha’s Witch World
By Miranda Ma
First Place, Intermediate Category

Agitha: My store is a mess and we are all out of rainbow frogs’ legs! (she hears the front door chimes) Oh hello deary and welcome to Agitha’s Witch World. Where we have all your witch’s needs. And how can I help you today? Brooms? But of course we have the largest selection of brooms this side of Salem. Allow me to show you the latest broom that has just come in. Oh you’re just looking for something basic? Okay well here is the Econo Soar. Its bristles are made from straw, the handle is standard wood and it has an add-on cushion seat. For only 15 Witchcoins! However for only a few witchcoins more you could have The Aerostar 4000. It’s the broom for the Witch on the go! With attachable storage boxes that can carry ten bags of groceries and 15 bottles of potions. It Includes car seats for the little witches, retractable sun shade and even a side basket to hold your black cat! On sale now for a low low cost of 35 Witchcoins. I see I’ve piqued your interest. Well I’ve saved the best for last. May I introduce you to the Featherflyer 3000. Each bristle is hand woven from the hair of mystic unicorn tails found in the mountains of the Netherlands. The colourful handle is hand carved from the Rainbow Eucalyptus tree from the remote islands of New Guinea. It has a Maxspeed engine that allows you to boost your broom up to 4 times its maximum speed. And it has aerodynamic stabilizers to ensure maximum comfort. It has a heated cushioned seat. And look! A digital clock! This broom can be yours for only 100 Witchcoins. Wait!! Don’t go. Let me sweeten the deal. What if I threw in a Hobblesworth potion. Guaranteed to make any witch 10 times smarter at 2 times more beautiful. No deal? Okay The Hobblesworth potion plus when the rainbow frogs’ legs come in I’ll give you first dibs. Fine!!! The Hobblesworth, The rainbow legs AND I give you a year’s supply of wart removal cream. Excellent! All items will be delivered to your doorstep tomorrow. Have a nice day! (customer exits) Another satisfied sucker….I mean customer!

The Street Lamp
By Valencia Cui
Second Place, Intermediate Category

You know, my job is to light up this little patch of sidewalk. And I do. I really do.

I watch over people. I make sure the late-night walker doesn't trip. I give the lost person a bright spot to check their map. I see it all. This is my purpose. This is my world.

And I don’t mind the work. Truly, I don’t. There’s pride in being a small, steady kind of guardian. When the rain falls, I make the pavement gleam, turning the dirty puddles into a shiny world of their own. When the fog comes, my light becomes a sword that cuts through the gloom. I have a job to do, and I do it well.

But then, there are the quiet hours. The hours after the last cafe closes, after the final car has sped down the street. That’s when the loneliness creeps in. That’s when I look up.

The sky is a canvas, and on it, the universe has thrown a party. The moon, a silver disc, never has to be alone. It’s constantly surrounded by all the stars, all twinkling, all sharing the same immense space. They talk in a language I can almost understand. A meteor will sometimes streak by, a flash of gossip, and the whole sky seems to shimmer with the news. They are a community, a family of light, all illuminating each other.

But I silently let all this light out of myself, every night, and the only thing that ever comes back is the darkness. Sometimes a moth will visit, mistaking my glass for a companion, but it’s just in love with the glow, not the lamp. It never stays.

When morning comes and my light goes out, I feel relieved. I held my ground and did what I was supposed to do. I know I'll be back tonight when it's dark. The stars can have the universe. I’ll have my little space. And that is enough.

He’s Not Human
By William Ma
Thrid Place, Intermediate Category

(Timmy is at school with his classmates. He is holding a large stack of papers.)

TIMMY:

GUYS! I’m telling you, that shipping company tycoon isn’t HUMAN! What do you mean no? Just THINK ABOUT IT! First, his name. HUGH MAN? Sounds a little suspicious to me. You could put him in an alien movie and make him the main antagonist. Whenever you watch an alien movie, the alien always disguises itself as something very important, not like a farmer or zookeeper. Have you noticed in the past there have been many other important people all with the same name, but only one at a time. I remember, my grandpa told me that back then there was this weapons designer with the name Hugh Mann, and he had the same characteristics as the newer Hugh Mann - stiff, made clicking sounds, and said weird stuff. Weird stuff like “Hey there fellow people of this earth! I am 100% percent human too!” Then, my dad said that there was a guy trying to run for Prime Minister when he was a kid. Same name, same face! And none of them has ever been seen eating. I think it’s pretty obvious by now. Hey, where are you going, I’m not done yet!

(He waves around the papers)

I still haven’t even got to the part where he called those robots he designed his “people”.

Basketballshooteritis
By Charlie Huang
Honourable Mention, Intermediate Category

Okay, I feel like going out to shoot some shots. This is going to be amazing! Here we go! Ohhhhhhh yeah! Yeehaw!

[Dribbles the basketball, and lines up a shot.]

Yes! A good start! [Throws another.] Woo! That’s two for two! [Keeps throwing and retrieving.] That’s three! …Four! Five? Okay, I’m good today!

Wait, this is weird. [Stands still and just starts shooting one after another. Each ball comes right back to you.] Six. Seven! Eight! Nine! TEN IN A ROW!

One hundred percent! Wait, have I ever even done this before?

What if I TRY to miss. [Throws a wild shot that will obviously miss. But your eyes follow the ball through the air to the net.] What?! Okay, let me try THIS… What!?

What is going on? I can’t miss the basket! Do I have super powers or something?

I’m worried. One last shot and if it goes in, I’m going to the hospital. Have myself checked out. [Throws the ball again in the wrongest direction he can manage. His eyes follow the ball as it bounces off of a tree, over his head, and through the basket.]

Uhh… this is getting really weird! It bounced off that tree and went right in… I couldn’t do that again if I wanted to. [Tries it. He does it again.]

What’s WRONG with me? That's it, I'm going to call my doctor.

[Pulls out a phone and dials.]

Um, hello, doc? I have a weird problem. I, well… I can’t miss a basket. Yeah, I’m playing basketball. And no matter what I do, the ball keeps going in.

[Waits. Nods head. Starts to smile and feel better.]

Yeah, sure doc. I could play this Saturday. Hopefully, I’ll still be sick, and the balls will keep going in the basket. You sure there’s nothing wrong with me? Okay. If you say so.

See you Saturday.

Huh. I guess I’m so sick, I’ll have to join the NBA at the age of ten. Gotta live with it. That's sad, man.

Fragile, Handle with Care
By Kalyn Feng
Honourable Mention, Intermediate Category

[While bouncing up and down on the couch, Billy accidentally knocks over a vase. Panic strikes!]

Oh no! The vase! How am I going to tell my mom that I broke it? I’m going to get in so much trouble.

Hmm. I know! I’ll just say I was going to take the dog out for a walk, and it got so excited, it broke the vase. Yeah! No, wait. There’s a tiny problem… we don’t have a dog! So that won’t work.

Okay, wait. I have another idea. If I clean up the mess before mom gets here, I can just pretend nothing happened. Yeah! That’s a great idea! She’ll never notice one tiny vase is gone, and even if she does, she won’t know it was me.

Where’s she keep the broom? Is it… OH! Hi, mom! You scared me! Why are you home so early? Oh, you know, nothing much! Just a boring day! Totally nothing happened at all.

Oh! That’s weird! What happened to the vase? The dog must have broke it… oooooh. Right. We don’t have a dog. I’ve always wanted one, though. Can we get one?

Oh, right, the vase.

I’m sorry, okay. It was me. Please don’t ground me! Don’t take away my video games!

Seriously? You’re not mad? Yeah, I didn’t like that vase either. Or the window. I mentioned the window, right? You’re not mad about it, are you? Right?

Right?

No video games for a month? MOMMM!