WRiting Contest #2 - Monologue

Junior Category Winning SUbmissions

Stop These Own Goals!
By Duncan Chiu
First Place, Junior Category

COACH:

Ok team, that was an interesting first half. We’ve had three own goals and that’s all we’ve been able to score. There’s two things you need to remember if we want to win the Elementary Cup - don’t run back and don’t pass to the goalie. All of the filthy own goals have been caused by defenders running straight back at the goal and trying to pass to the goalie. So Fred, all you're going to do is say “ooga booga” to intimidate the other team, and just… just… just stay in your place at the left and literally just don’t run anywhere near the goal. Linden, you're always running straight into combat and then you trip on the ball and fall and when you get the ball for one second, you try to kick it to the striker, Konnor, and it goes into the goal as your foot is always facing the goal with the pass. Brendan, you always walk straight in for a clear that’s supposed to go far away from us and then kick it straight back far close to us for a corner kick or you just kick it into the goal. Konnor, always play a bit farther from defense, we need you to score because no one else has a better shot than you. Tristan, when you’re in goal, be ready for shots on nets, no matter who has the ball. If any of y’all score an own goal, then be proud of your first goal and also be proud of being off the team.

WHOA…..WHOA…..WHOA
By George Yuan Yao
Second Place, Junior Category

Relax! All I did was break all the chalk!

And maybe I might have also stolen your lunch, but hey! It’s no big deal!

Hey! You can’t send me to detention for something as small as that!

It’s not even that important!

(later , in detention) Hmph!

She is SO unfair!

Why would she give me 5 entire detentions for something as small as that!

All I really did was breaking the chalk and stealing her lunch!

You can literally get them for at most $5.99!(Okay ,fine maybe $20.99 ,but still! 5 detentions!)

I would be willing to bet $10.00 that if you told everyone about this unfair thing you have done to me, they would all say ‘’Oh no! This teacher really needs to be fired! Deal? Okay ,good.Hmph!

(The next day) NO WAY! You won?!

How is this possible?!

You must have hypnotised them somehow! NOOOOOOOOO!

That $10.00 was all my pocket money!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!(in study hall) She really IS evil!

I need to get my REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!(in the principal’s office)

Yeah! Jeez! That is why I dropped a bucket of water on Mrs.Nori’s head and exactly why she should be fired.

Wait a second, I’m the victim here, not Mrs.Nori!

You can’t expel ME! THIS IS SO UNFAIR! NOOOOOOOO! (At home ) Yeah, but she deserved it! NOOOOOOOOO! I have to go to school tomorrow ?! But I got expelled! ISS??? WHY!?This is SO unfair!( ISS stands for In-School-Suspension) I AM NOT GOING ! ( the next day ) Hey! I can just hide in the bathroom for the whole day! (one hour later) Hey! It’s not my fault I don’t wanna go to school! And plus! This time I actually got expelled! Now I won’t have to go to school again!

Limited Edition
By Aaron Gu
Thrid Place, Junior Category

Eric is browsing in a toy store, looking at the shelves, when he spots something very tempting…

Eric:

No way! Is that the new super-limited edition Superman plushie? Oh my god! It is! It looks sooooo cool! His costume is purple instead of blue, his cape is orange, and his eyes shoot REAL lasers. I gotta have it!

MOM! MOM! Look! It’s the new, super-limited edition Superman plushie! Can I get this, please? PLEASE? No! But his costume is purple! His eyes shoot lasers! Come on! Why?

It’s NOT too expensive! Look! It’s on sale! PLEAAAASSEEE, MOM?! I will DIE without it! No, I will, I’ll die! PLEASE?! What if I take out the trash tonight? Remember last time, when it had maggots and made me sick? I’ll even do THAT! PLEEEEAASSE?!

What? You WILL? THANK YOU! Oh my god, I’m so excited.

[Gives the cashier the Superman plushie to scan, then takes it back, and looks super excited. Bouncing!]

Oh boy! It’s all mine! Wait… this is wrong! This says “SCUPERMAN”! Scuperman?! Wait! This is a knock-off!

[Falls to his knees.]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It Wasn't Me
By Jayce Fung
Honourable Mention, Junior Category

I am leaving my house and never coming back.
Here is what my owner says:The reason I left the house is because I just wanted more treats and knocked down his cup of coffee.

Here is what I say:
#1 I did not knock down his coffee. I touched it with my tail
#2 I did not want more treats.I just wanted to see what was on the shelves
Just a few minutes ago I made up my mind. I am leaving my house and never coming back

Wow it's so nice out here, why was I indoors my whole life?
Whoa what's that, what's your name bud
Why are you squawking OW THAT HURT
That stupid thing scratched my arm with his sharp claws
Whoa why is there water coming from the sky I thought water only comes in a bowl your owner magically makes
Gosh that water is freezing and it's getting so dark, maybe leaving my house wasn't that
good after all
I guess I'm gonna try to find my home
Home where are you hello home you there?
Come on i just wanna go home
Wait is that it? YES IT IS
Ok I'm gonna go through that doggy door
I'm so happy to see you, you had every right to be mad at me this morning
(Jumps on owner's lap)
(knocks down coffee)
Whoops umm that wasn't me

Paleontology
By Jasper Wang
Honourable Mention, Junior Category

Hey Mr. Clay, I know that we are doing a project on paleontology, but it’s my least favourite thing. Like literally! Have you even seen the idiotic what-ever-that-is-called Rex?

(Searches on his phone)

See! It says that the Rex’s teeth are as large as a banana! That is clearly wrong. How can you put fifty bananas in your mouth? I tried, and I could only get three. I think they need to go on its back - that’s more radical! And also, that els-ramensaurus is so long! You see, scientists even put them in the wrong directions, they put his head on his tail! Headbutt - Ha! And did you know that the biggest dinosaur is so fat, they must have eaten too much Mcdonald’s. (gets an idea) I know! I’ll do a project on how much fat Mcdonald’s produces. I’ll research and test it out myself. I am a bit hungry now. Thanks for the idea, Mr. Clay!