WRiting Contest #4 - Rhetoric

Primary Category Winning SUbmissions

The Giant and the Beanstalk
By William Chen
First Place, Primary Category

Once upon a time, there was a smallish giant named Jack, who lived in a castle in the sky. This might make you think that Jack was rich, but he was not. His castle was as empty as his bank account, and he barely had enough food to eat, which is why he was smallish.

But one day, when he woke up, he saw the top of a giant beanstalk poking through the clouds. He decided to climb down and see what was at the bottom. So down he went.

When he got to the bottom, he looked around and saw a house as big as his castle, but shiny and rich-looking. When nobody was looking, he went inside, which wasn’t easy, because he had to lay on his belly button and crawl through the small door.

He was inside! He could hear water running, and a sweet-talking sound. He spotted some family pictures, and the people who lived here were not only rich, they were Hatchimals! He had always wanted a Hatchimal for a pet, so he made a plan.

He went back outside and dug a tunnel, lickety split! He followed the pipes to the bathtub, and then broke the drainage pipe, and sucked HARD on the pipe. The Hatchimal family were pulled into the pipe and into his mouth.

But he didn’t eat them! He spit them out and carried them back to his castle in the sky. And even though he was still poor, at least he had some nice pets.

And they all lived happily ever after, except for the Hatchimals, who wanted to be back in their tub.

THE END

The History of Caterpillar Mayors
By Diana Aghamohammadpour
Second Place, Primary Category

Once upon a time, there were three [Hold up three fingers] caterpillars, who lived in a place called Cat and Pillar Land [Move your hand across in front of you to show letters on a sign].

They were very popular, so the people voted for them to be mayors. The biggest [Throw your hands really wide] caterpillar was voted the mayor for the capital city of the country.

The middle [Hold your hand tummy-high] caterpillar was chosen as the mayor for a city in the middle of the country.

The smallest [Pinchy fingers held up] caterpillar was voted as the mayor for the biggest [Spread your arms wide] city in the whole land.

For six years [Hold up six fingers] they all lived happily—the people thought they were great leaders who made good [Nod once with conviction] decisions. Until [Stretch the word “until’) the caterpillars heard that the Museum of UBC [Point toward UBC] was going to open on the youngest caterpillar’s land.

This was very surprising [Spread arms down low] to the youngest caterpillar, because he had never [Shake your head] heard of this project, and definitely didn’t approve it [Wag your finger]. But he didn’t mind, because his favourite food [Rub your belly slowly] was whale bones, and the museum would have whale bones!

So the night before the grand opening, he broke in [Tiptoe across the stage!], and ate every single one of the bones [Once again, spread arms emphatically]! In the morning, all the museum-goers thought that the workers had lied, because nothing seemed finished [As you say this line look around with confusion on your face, as if to say, “Where are the exhibits?”].

But 1287 years later, scientists discovered a fossilized caterpillar after UBC was washed away by a [Thrust your hands outward from your body] flood.

THE END

Goldirocks and the Three Woolly Mammoths
By Deson Ye
Third Place, Primary Category

Once upon an ancient time, way back when there were cave people, there was a little girl named Goldirocks.

Goldirocks was out exploring the forest when she found a strange house, that was very big, and was covered in thick, brown fur. She knocked on the door three times, but nobody answered. So she let herself in.

She was feeling very hungry and thought she would help herself to food. But in the bowls on the table, she found only grass. She said, “This isn’t too hot OR too cold. It’s just grass!”

She wanted to sit down and think about this, but there weren’t any chairs. “These chairs aren’t too tall or too short… there’s no chairs here at all!”

She was tired from all that thinking, so she went to lie down, but found no beds… only a bunch of trampled plants where something big had laid down. “These beds aren’t too hard or too soft… they’re just the cold ground! Oh well, I’m tired anyway.” And she laid down and fell asleep.

Just then, the door opened and in came three woolly mammoths. The woolly mammoths did not notice that their grass had been eaten, because it hadn’t. And there chairs were not broken, because they had no chairs. And they did not notice the little cave girl sleeping on the ground, so they laid down on top of her and squished her flat like a pancake.

THE END

The Giant and the Beanstalk
By Liam Wang
Honourable Mention, Primary Category

I used to have an ordinary life. It was a good life, and I liked it. I had lots of money, and an easy way to get more with my golden goose, which laid golden eggs. Plus, I had a magical harp that played magical music that always made me want to boogie. And now I’ve lost it all.

Because of Jack.

THREE times, that little ding dong broke into my home and stole my stuff!

The first time, I came home and caught him under my kitchen table, with my entire chest of gold. Well, I yelled, “Fee fi fo fum!” and grabbed him, and caught him, but he was so slippery and wiggly, that he popped out of my fist and ran off with my gold!

But the gold wasn’t enough for that dippy doi doi! No, he came back again, and this time, even though I yelled, “Fee fi fo fum!” he stole my harp! No more music! No more boogie! I was so mad!

I thought for sure that dumbbell was done this time. But no! He came back and stole my most prized possession… the golden goose! I was so mad that I yelled “Fee fi fo fum!” and chased him. He started to climb down a huge beanstalk, and I followed him. But he got to the bottom first, and chopped the beanstalk down. I was still halfway up, and came crashing down to the earth.

I was really badly injured, but Jack paid for my hospital bill with all of his golden eggs, so now I don’t think he’s a ding dong. He’s a nice guy!

The Injured Head Man
By Chad Lin
Honourable Mention, Primary Category

Once upon a time, a bricklayer, high up on a new skyscraper, wasn’t paying attention, and knocked over his brick stack. Many bricks fell many storeys and landed on the head of a man walking past.

The man’s brain was rattled, and he couldn’t think straight anymore. He only knew that he wanted to RUN!

A baker had seen the man get hit through the window of his bakery. He ran out, and said, “You’re injudred! You’re bleeding! A doctor you’re needing!”

But the injured head man couln’t think straight, and replied, “No need doctor! No need brain scan! No catch me! Me injured head man!” And he ran away.

An astronomer looked away from his telescope and saw the man bleeding from his head. “You’re injured! You’re bleeding! A doctor you’re needing!” he yelled in shock.

But the injured head man just yelled, “No need doctor! No need brain scan! No catch me! Me injured head man!” And he ran away.

Just then, a football team that was hunting for their lost ball saw Injured Head Man, and they all yelled, “You’re injured! You’re bleeding! A doctor you’re needing!”

But the injured head man danced and said, “No need doctor! No need brain scan! No catch me! Me injured h…” And they tackled him.

They put him on their shoulders and carried him to an ambulance, that brought him to hospital and saved him.

And even though his brain was still wonky and he always wanted root beer, they all lived happily ever after.