BOB: (speaking to a professional high jumper in a park) Hey you! Are you a professional high jumper? You are? Then you better retire, bro. Because you’re too old. And you jump too low. You know how high I can jump? One mile! And you can only jump ten inches! I challenge you to a jumping competition.

(Bob jumps. He jumps higher than a mile!)

Ok dude. It’s your turn!

(The high jumper jumps. He only jumps two inches.)

Ha-ha! You can’t jump very high! I won!! You’re the loser! So promise me you’ll retire. You’ll win zero medals. And I’ll win all the metals. I’m the world’s highest high jumper!

(Bob proudly walks away.)

Germ: Hey hand sanitizer. It’s me, germ. We need to talk. I hate when you put this stuff on me. Do you have any idea what happens? First, my eyes burn. I get horribly tired, my tummy hurts, and my entire body aches. Yep, that’s right: You make me sick. Aren’t you supposed to be protecting instead of infecting? I can’t go to work when I’m sick. I have to give the flu to 34 people this week. How can I do this when I’m in bed all day? And I have my cricket tournament this weekend. I can’t miss it. So here’s the deal. Just gummy yourself for at least three to four days. Your choice. That way people won’t be able to put that junk all over me. Then I can get some work done and go to my cricket tournament. Plus it’s hilarious when it sprays in opposite directions onto people’s clothes. Deal? Great. Now I’ve got to go get some runny noses started.

JAKE: (Sitting on the couch in his living room.) Mom, can I play Fortnite? I will do all my homework. I will help you do the laundry. I will make you breakfast today. Pleeeeeeease? Bruh! Please! You made me watch 40 hours of Stranger Things and it was SO scary. The least you can do is let me play Fortnite. I promise to get good grades this year. Only F minuses – I’m kidding! I’m kidding! (pause) I can!? Really!? You promise you won’t get mad after…

I went outside and guess what, it's snowing!I yell out loud in my house:”George! It's snowing!Let's go out to play in the snow!”

A bit later, I and George are playing in the snow.”Snow,snow,snow” I and George sing.

We started pushing a big snowball. It slowly grew larger and larger. It got so big that we persuaded daddy to come out to roll it, and he could only roll it a few inches.

By the time it was four meters large – it fell into a frozen lake! Yikesies, all of our work just disappeared. I was shocked!

My little brother George immediately threw a tantrum:“Waaaaaaaaaa! Honk honk.” So I try to calm George down by saying: “Don’t worry! Honk honk. This time we will make an even bigger one!” Somehow,it worked! I am so proud of myself! As I said,we actually rolled a bigger snowball!

We actually didn’t even end up making a snowman; we ended up killing the snowman and having a snowball fight! Trust me,it was a total disaster,but I think it was really fun!

Santa: Ho ho ho ho Merry Christmas. I love my life. Because I drink so much milk and I love cookies. My favorite part of my life is spending time with the elves. We have snowball fights every day. I always win because I make big snowballs that can hit 40 elves at a time. I like my relaxing nights when I can watch Star Wars while eating popcorn and drinking milk. I’ll tell you a secret about what I want for Christmas: a new reindeer because I accidentally lost one in a snowstorm. I’ll call her Carol. This summer I plan to play many games of tag and hide and seek. Then I'll read 48 books while eating candy canes in my favorite chair.

Mizuki really wanted a puppy and persuaded her mom to get one
Mizuki:

Hi, my name is Mizuki. I really want a puppy. I have been begging for a puppy for 2 years. My mom keeps saying “On your next birthday.” I waited 2 birthdays! She also said “You have pets already. You don’t need another one.” I said “Okay. Maybe I already have a cat, but cats are not as good as dogs.” Here are my reason:
1. All they do is sleep
2. You can’t really play with them
3. You can’t really teach them any tricks.
But with dogs, you can do all of that.
I keep telling her those reasons but she keeps saying “No” or “You are not responsible enough.” When she says I am not responsible enough, I tell her that I will do all the responsibilities of having a dog like;
1. Picking up their poop
2. Taking them for a walk
3. Buying most of their toys and food
She still says “No”. Instead she says that I can have a bird, bunny, hamsters… the list goes on and on.
The problem is the list has all the pets you can have except a puppy!
I thought that my mom was probably allergic to dogs, but says that she is not.
I keep thinking of other ideas to convince my mom to get me a puppy. I say things like;
1. If you buy me a puppy I will give you free rooms cleans
2. I will mow the lawn 10 times if you buy me a puppy
3. If you buy me a puppy I will make my own lunch and breakfast for one month
4. Once you get me a puppy I will do the dishes for 3 months
Every time I ask, I get the same answer “No, and stop asking. I am getting annoyed.”
But yesterday, when I asked if she would buy me a puppy she said “Fine. BUT, you have to do:
1. 5 room cleans
2. You have to keep your room clean for a month
3. You have to do the dishes for 2 months
4. You have to take the dog for a walk and pick up the poop everyday
5. No excuses you have to do it day or night
When I heard this I said “Yes” without thinking about all the extra chores I had to do.
She said, “Okay let’s go get the puppy!”
(pick up the puppy and show to the audience)
And that’s how I got my puppy.

Jake Jigglebottom:

Jerry! Go try and ‘meg that guy so he won't get the ball. Just dribble into him! He will fall for it. Just dribble into him and then he’ll get scared!

(Jake watches as Jerry loses the ball)

Why did you lose the ball Jerry, I told you to meg him!

(Jake watches as Tim goes to get the ball)

Tim, go and break that guy's ankles so you get the ball. Just run up and kick him! What do you mean, no? I am the Captain of this team and I want you to follow my directions. Kick him! KICK HIM! KICCCCKKKKK HIMMMMM!

(Jake watches as Tim gets a red card)

Ref, why did you give him a red card! You are a horrendous Ref. You should be ejected from this game because of your bad reffing skills. I could be a better Ref than you!

(Jake watches as the Ref gives him a red card)

We only have five players, we can’t play with three players! You stink.

(Jake walks off the field)

Marshmallow the Dinosaur is being featured on the TV show INVESTIGATION FRONTLINES. Marshmallow sits for the interview in her home–the BASA office.

[Marshmallow] : Hello! It’s Marshmallow and I’m here to answer my most frequently asked questions.

1. What type of dinosaur are you?
Some people might think “Oh! That's easy, Marshmallow is a T-Rex!” I guess that is partly true, my father is a T-Rex and my mother from the RARE species of the Rainbow Bloodline.

2. How did you survive the asteroid that hit earth millions of years ago that destroyed all species?
Well that's easy, when the asteroid hit, my family was hurled into a GIGANTIC snow pile that preserved us for millions of years. (FUN FACT: the ice made our bodies shrink and turn softer so that is how I look like a stuffy!)

3. What do you do for a living?
My job is to be a therapy dinosaur! Every year, all the animals that need therapy go on a Zoom meeting. I met the smallest pony on earth there. She’s a therapist pony! This job is fun even if it doesn’t make me much money. I don’t mind, so long as I have a place to live!

Thank you for listening to me answering your frequently asked questions!

MRS. ROSE: (She enters on the stage, elegantly.) Hi! Hello! Greeeeeetings everyone! Today, I’m going to show my new wordless book to all of you. My name is Mrs. Rose. Do you know me? Just in case, if you don’t, I’m a very popular author. I create wordless books. Only wordless books. Chapter books are annoying and boring. They have too many words! Wordless books are artistic and some are even mysterious. They really catch the reader's attention because of their beautiful drawings. So, I’m going to talk about my own wordless book that I made. I’m so excited! (She looks around and spies someone in the audience who is not paying attention) Hey you! Oh sorry sorry. But you are not listening to me! And you’re fiddling with your dress which is a distraction to me. And you’re not even looking at me! Ok, in my wordless book, there’s a little cat. (pause) Why are all of you just not paying attention to me?! Is my wordless book boring? Like chapter books? Ok this is your last chance… Oh my god! This is ridiculous. No one is paying attention and they are all doing other stuff. If you don’t want to listen to me, I guess I’ll just go. This is the worst audience I’ve ever had! I don’t want to be mean to you guys but I don’t know how I’m going to get your attention. So bye! (she storms off.)

CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH! I get really annoyed with that noise when I sit beside people eating apples. Sure, they always say, “An apple a day, keeps the doctor away!”

But I disagree.

GARGLE, GARGLE, GARGLE. I have to rinse my mouth! Apples are acidic. It’s going to melt my teeth! In fact, I’m going to get acid reflux!

KLUNK, KLUNK, KLUNK. Ow! Have you ever had one hit your cranium? Apples are so heavy. Do not mess with apples.

CRACK, CRACK, CRACK. Apples are so tough that you might even crack a tooth or two. It sure doesn’t keep the dentist away.

Apples are just way too overrated! Especially the green ones. I hate the green ones, they’re so sour, and rancorous. Apples are from hell!

DANIEL:
(Pant after running)
Guys! I just time travelled! I was clanking and fooling around with the fridge and the toaster. I used an industrial engine, an experimental fusion machine that I modified to my liking. I started by freezing a clock, warping the space around me and, BOOM! It was 10 days in the past. The problem is that I can’t modify the past. That is why my device that makes universes came in handy. I made a duplicate of this universe and separated it so that it was no longer part of the multiverse network and then… I have the power of anything! Enough with the details, I now have the ultimate…(dramatic pause)

Time machine!!!! I discovered four different types of matter and used them to fuel my fusion machine that makes a time continuum/a worm hole that allows you to go back in time.
That’s why I know your darkest secret. Where you hid your money stash and the person you murdered. I can travel to any other universe. I can now do whatever I want to anybody I want. So go home and give me your money. It is a time machine only I can operate. I can go anywhere at any time and win every bet. I can solve any mystery, witness any event, and I can know anything and that makes me smarter than Einstein. I could let you use the time machine if you give me all your money, but it would not be enough, it would never be enough. The thing is, I did my homework, but it’s in the past right now, only I can access it so only I can get my homework. It takes time to prepare the machine, get my homework and come to school. That’s why I am late for school and no, I’m not lying.

(threateningly through your teeth)
If. You. Go. And. Tell on me, I will find where you live. I. Will. Make. The school board fire you
(casually)
and I will sue. So, teacher, get my drift?

In this city, it's a game of currents, and I've been navigating these waters for years. But now, there's a storm on the horizon – a threat to everything I've built. It's not just about profits; it's about survival.

You see, there's a rival eyeing my business, ready to snatch it away like a thief in the night. I can't let that happen. So, I'm setting sail on a different kind of venture.

A boat, that's what I need. Not just any boat, but the kind that commands respect and strikes fear into the hearts of those who dare challenge me. The seven levels of greatness are my ladder to ascend, each step whispered me closer, leading me to that elusive vessel.

I've never been one to beg or borrow, but I'll dance with desperation if that's what it takes. The money I seek isn't just currency; it's a lifeline, a means to protect what's rightfully mine. So, I'm out here, working every angle, making deals, and turning stones to find the funds to build my fortress.

This boat isn't just a means of transportation; it's a symbol of power, a place to those who think they can outsmart me. I'll be furious if I let someone else sail away with the fruits of my labor. The seven levels are my roadmap, and with each ascent, I'm getting closer to seizing control of these waters.

The city might be a battlefield, but I'm not one to surrender. I'll navigate through the tides of adversity, gather the resources, and secure my boat – my ticket to safeguarding the empire I've built. This is more than a quest for a vessel; it's a fight for survival in a world where only the fittest survive.

Hello how are you doing (random pause)
I'm here to sell you a product that will change your life if you buy it.

If you're not interested in my product, well I don't care. See your neighbour over there, he bought my product a while ago and well look at him now. Didn't he used to be a ugly fat bum. Well he is pretty muscular now if you ask me. That's because of MY product.

WHAT you're interested in it now, well sure I guess if you insist. Well the product i'm selling is? Drumroll please. (dramatic pause) Brains cells! That's right brain cells. I have tons of them, all made in China but who cares about their brain cells nonetheless.
I have brain cells that cover all the subjects you could think of from art all the way to folk dancing. We have it all.

How much do they cost you might wonder, well dont worry its only 5 dollars per brain cell and if you buy 1 you could get a chance to get one free.

Well of course you can just buy brain cells for economics, we won't stop you but be warned you might want some other brain cells to help it because only buying one type of brain cell has had a case of someone blowing up.

Well pleasure doing business with you your total is 57.67 $ dollars including tax.

Best of luck!

(To audience) and that folks is how you scam a gen-z out of his life savings. Thank you for your time.

So, I’ve owed taxes to the BRS (Bobolian Revenue Service) for well over ten years now.

I know owing money to the government is bad but –I don’t care! The government is stupid. Why am I giving up some of my hard earned cash for some magic clown in the sky? It's bullcrap.

Nothing that the government does is ever good. Like that one time when the government sent people to fight in that random war. Like who cares, just settle it in a 1v1. You don't need to send thousands of people to die for what land and I dunno water?

Plus what is the definition of taxes? I’m gonna search it up. “A compulsory contribution to state revenue, levied by the government on workers' income and business profits, or added to the cost of some goods, services, and transactions”.

Huh. That's weird. I don't know what these words are supposed to be. What the heck is a “levied” or a “transaction.” I guess I'm considered old now because I don't know all these trendy words.

Anyways yesterday while I was looking up ways to get rich I get approached by the BRS and I remember that encounter with the BRS like it was yesterday.

They slid up to me like a shady street vendor selling illegal ice cream flavors and paperwork. I think they asked me something about tax evasion. Or was it an ice cream flavor? I replied with, 'Well, obviously, chocolate cake is the answer to everything. If the world ran on cake, we'd all be happier taxpayers!'

Seriously, decoding tax talk is like trying to crack a secret code from another planet. 'Levied' sounds like the name of a boss from a video game. 'Beware the fearsome Tax Levied!' It's like they speak in riddles just to keep us confused.

So yeah taxes are dumb.

Kaite’s family is in need of a cure which can only be found in the magical Utopia.

Kaite:
(talking to the villagers)
There is a place called Utopia where myths and fables live. There is all sorts of magic there and Utopia could even have the things to cure mom, little bro, the rest of the town.

WHAT YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME?! Hmph, if you aren’t going to take me seriously then I will have to find Utopia myself.
(To herself)
But, I don’t like the idea of going into the woods all by myself. I can’t believe that they aren’t taking me seriously. I’m sure I can find a map somewhere in the ancient library. Let me go check.
(enters the library, ruffles through the ancient scrolls, looks at each, finds a map)
Ahah! I found it. I better get going soon, I don’t have much time.
(walk to the edge of the woods)
It looks really dark and scary in there. What if there are wolves? Stop it Katie! Think about what it could do for mom and little bro. You can do this!
(Steps into the forest)
Ok, lets see where we have to go. The map says go to the man shaped rock. Which one is the man shaped rock? Haha that one. Ok, now I need to find the great oak tree next to the flowing river. Utopia cure here I go. (leave behind the curtain)
Ahha, oooh, aaaahh. There, there, and there. Onward!
(enter through the curtain again)
Finally, I made it to the end! Now I am supposed to find a tunnel or cave leading to Utopia. Where could it be?! I checked everywhere! Hmph, now there is no way I am never going to be able to cure mom and little bro. (Sits on a rock and falls into a hole) What just happened?! The rock just fell down and now I am stuck in a hole! (Looks around) Wait, is that a tunnel? (Beat) It is! Yes! This must be the entrance to Utopia. Let’s go! (Walks a little) I can see the entrance! (Look around in awe with mouth wide open)

What a beautiful place. I love the fountains with crystal clear water inside. The sun is reflecting off the water. The plants are so pretty. All the floor tiles are sparkling in the sunlight. I can see tons of mythical creatures here. So cool! Agh, Oh are those unicorns, dragons, ahh and dwarves, and any other mythical creatures that you could think of. Ok, let's see where the unicorns are. They are the ones with the potions. Hmm, oh! I see them over there. (Walks a little) Excuse me Mrs. Unicorn but do you happen to

Woah, calm down. I am not going to harm you. I am just looking for a potion that can cure a disease called the Hairy Polkadot Disease.

You can take me to your potions master? Great!

(take a few steps across the stage and then waits for a couple of moments)

Hello potions master, I am looking for a potion that can cure the Hairy Polkadot Disease. I come in peace so no need to be stressed out about anything. Do you have the potion? You do? Great, can I please have 1 bottle.

Wait, you need something in return!? Well lets see, how about this metal bracelet?

Yeah? Great! Thanks potions master, see you again, maybe.

(takes a few steps away from the potion master)
Now how do I get back? I forgot! I am lost! Wait, I can just ask. Excuse me Mr. Dwarf but do you happen to know where the entrance to Utopia is?
That way? Ok, thank you!

(run back and forth on the stage 1-2 times)

Huff, huff, huff. Finally, huff huff I made huff huff it huff huff back. Now to cure everybody! Look guys! I actually got the potion. Yeah, you should be apologizing for not believing me. Now let's get to curing. We put 1 drop of this (Points at the potion) in a cup of water and drink it even if you don't have the disease because then you can’t catch the virus. Ok, here I go.

Hi. I’m the Evil Queen. Yeah, yeah. You’re probably about to run your legs off and scream your lungs out. But. You believe a tale my siblings weaved because they were jealous? (Sigh) Geez. Okay then. I’ll tell you my story. Be prepared. I’m not the ‘evil’ queen you think me to be. So, I started life as a poor peasant. I suffered from…wait for it…siblings. Loud, noisy, annoying siblings. My temper shortened with each passing day. All of my siblings were older or younger than me. I was the trapped-in-the-middle child. No one cared about me. Like at all. I wanted to stand out. I tried everything! Sports, art, music. I even tried English language arts! (Mimes vomiting) I failed. Miserably. When I was 13, I was elected to be the new queen! My siblings envied me. Obviously. However, half the town didn’t even know who I was and randomly voted for me so I was desperate to prove myself. I thought for basically all my life until I was 50 years old. Snow White was already born. I was still in good shape when I decided to become a model. But my siblings made fun of me and advocated their idea that I was too ugly to become a model and Snow White was better! I tried to make myself look more attractive and beautiful but the kingdom criticized me just because I wanted to reach my goal! It was so unfair! Snow White then became a model and queen while I was thrown off the throne!! Injustice! Cruelty! And do you want to know what happened next? I didn’t even plot my revenge against the kingdom! Then when trying to make peace with them, they refused and said I was secretly planning to overthrow Queen Snow White! I died of sadness and loneliness. Not of rage and anger! At the end, I chose to let go. I hope you understand-like actually understand-I wasn’t really that ‘evil’ after all.

Bob is an unpopular part-time influencer and claims to work at an elementary school, and do live interviews allegedly because he “cares and hopes to promote personal well-being and physical health”. He seems to like wearing masks and carrying a large potato sack all the time. He’s late a lot.

Bob streams live from his cramped room, watched by 15 viewers

BOB: Hello, I’m Bob, and today I will be giving you 5 reasons why going outside can help you make more beneficial life decisions! We all benefit from some good fresh air-

Bob pauses, glancing at the chat. This continues throughout the monologue.

Am I- What? O-Oh, this mask, is um, a new fashion trend going on, cool, hm?

A- Anyways, first of all, it would make it so much easier for me to ro- Um, react to things quicker! Yes, having faster reactions! This is because lying down in bed makes you less focused and more drowsy, but fresh air can help you focus- It’s very good for the mind!

Secondly, it would be Hm, what is this gold bar, you say? Oh, it’s, it’s fake, I found it while I was searching for something to steal- something that’s steel, and then I uh painted it for a stage prop! Right, I am a drama teacher!

Anyway, let’s go back to how staying at home isn’t extremely healthy! My second reason is the great variety of houses to investigate- invest in! Going outside will help you be more aware of your surroundings, thus making you more invested in the future...

Hmm, are those police sirens? … Wait… Wanted bank robber? “Known for stealing others’ gold bars and antique artifacts when they aren't at home.” Never heard of it. Oh well, time’s up! I gotta go to my uhh, costume party! Byeeee!

Pulls up mask. Camera recording suddenly stops.

(Teachers are seated in the Gym. Bryan walks on stage with a microphone. A pause, and then …)

BRYAN. Highschoolers are definitely not the brightest bunch. We do lots and lots of things, but most of them are stupid things that we regret right after. And disrespect is a whole other thing, I mean where did the common sense go when we do these irregular things? I always wonder if it's just that the very second you enter highschool you think “I should do something bad!”. Maybe it's the law of nature.

When I bring up “treating people well” my classmates just turn into brainless goblins, almost like it's a foreign concept to them. I thought that school was supposed to be a place where your imagination can prosper and express yourself at any time. But it's almost like the devil itself is watching over you just to make sure you have the same identity as the others. The High School experience was definitely not what I thought it was going to be.

Don't even get me started on the fights, it's almost like a gladiator arena out there. People stealing from each other, getting rid of all chances of peace among the school grounds. It's a shame to think that a place meant for learning has become a battleground for teenagers that have no idea what they are doing.

All of this chaos and even the teachers don't want to step in. What was originally the guiding light for young adults have simply just given up and went on to grading their tests. In fact, sometimes it almost seems like they are just as lost as us.

With this said, I still think that there's a chance for the curriculum to fix these problems, stealing? Offer proper support to victims instead of sending them on their way. Fighting? Why don't teachers really take a stand for once instead of just accepting the fact that this is how it is for the rest of time? All of these problems can be fixed with a little bit of time, schools just aren't focusing on these major problems enough, and so students are left to figure things out on their own.

(Lights up on MR. WONG’S office. He is drinking a cup of coffee and reading yet another R.F. Kuang book. KAI YEE enters, thinking about food. She slams the backpack onto the ground.)

MR. WONG. Hi, Kai Yee, how did the monologue writing assignment go?

KAI YEE. Listen here, Mr. Wong. (points finger). Monologues have never really been my thing. I just can’t think of anything when I have to write a monologue. There’s so much stuff I want to say but I just can’t organise it into one monologue that somebody else is going to perform, somebody else is going to interpret, and probably criticise.

For poems, at least I can bury myself under metaphors, hide under similes and various illustrations. Like, a literal dying tree could mean the loss of hope. In a monologue, I can’t do that. What is my character supposed to say, like “Oh, I look upon the dying tree that represents my hope”? NO! The character usually breaks down crying or something. The meaning has to be clear. The person has to KNOW what I want to convey. And sure, call me cowardly, but I don’t want to step into the light and yell to a bunch of old, white, straight, conservative men at the top of my lungs, “HEY GUYS. SEXISM EXISTS. HOMOPHOBIA EXISTS. CHANCES ARE, YOU GUYS ARE DISCRIMINATORY.”

In monologues, I have to organise my thoughts into one, coherent, linear timeline, well, sort of. I’m terrible at that. I mean, that’s probably why the councillors never actually understand what I’m babbling on about, and why my classmates call me “Yappanese”.

MR. WONG. I see.

(LEAH walks on stage annoyed from an encounter with THAT kid. She puts her backpack down on the ground and faces the audience.)


LEAH. To all the curious students out there, alright, alright, I hear you okay? Some students need more explanation than others, but the line for dumb questions needs to be drawn somewhere and I just happen to draw it at that kid [points off stage]. You know, the one who seems to have an endless supply of inquiries that make you want to pull your hair out?? Seriously, it's like they never run out of things to ask, and it's starting to drive me crazy. [Pause] I mean, don't they understand that not everything requires an explanation? Sometimes, things just are what they are, and we don't need to overanalyze every single little detail. It's exhausting to constantly be on the receiving end of their never-ending dumb questions! And don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the curiosity, but there's a limit!

Now don’t make me sound like the bad guy; I'm not saying we should shut down their curiosity completely, ... but a little restraint wouldn't hurt. Maybe they could save some of their questions for… I don’t know, later? Or find alternative outlets to satisfy their uh, what do you call it….[clears throat] thirst for knowledge. And maybe when that kid grows up, they will be more tolerable?

So, to that kid who just can't stop asking questions, remember that there is a time and place for everything. Just right now, I need to keep my sanity intact.

As normal, I stumped down to my car, opened the door and stormed right into my car. I am having a really bad day. I lost my purse, I failed my job application, and it was raining heavily and I was all wet. I started the engine. “TA TA TA”, the engine started with a loud roar, just like how angry I am right now.

The sound of the rain falling down from the sky on my car and the sound of the engine provided a soothing background as I drove down the street and finally I forgot about the anger I had five minutes ago. Outside the window, people were running in the rain, trying to go somewhere they could avoid the heavy rain pouring down from the sky. But I was sitting in my comfortable car listening to the radio about the news today. It was just such a wonderful time.

The light turned green and I needed to turn. The quiet drive turned to a scary driveway in an instant as I saw another car coming toward me. The car was so fast and it was getting closer and closer. I was stunned and terrified. I could see the driver of that car also yelling and screaming, trying to avoid the crash. Without any further thinking, I quickly started going back to the street I came from, but everything was too late. I finally realized the seriousness, and seconds later, I watched the other car crashing on my car, and a white pillow-like thing popped on my face. As a sudden, I felt like I was on my comfortable bed on a rainy night, trying to go to sleep, and the sound of the two crashing cars became the sound of the thunder.

PAIN! PAIN! Where did it come from?

I opened my eyes. My head was surrounded by a “pillow”. I gotta get out of here. I lifted my right arm, trying to grab the pillow and threw it away, but then I felt it again.
PAIN! This time, I know clearly where it came from, my right arm. I quickly put down my arm, trying to stop the excruciating pain coming out from my arm. Then I quickly used my left arm to grab and threw away the pillow.

With pain traveling through my injured arm, I tried my best to crawl to the side of the road. The world was spinning in front of me, and the sidewalk felt cold and ruthless. Every time I wanted to move, it was a disaster as someone was burning my arm, but determination prevailed my slow progress. And finally I was out of the dangerous street to the safe sidewalk.

Dear Universe, everyone, and everything that is watching over me. How are you? How’s your day? Mine has been great, thanks for asking. So ummm, I just wanna start off by saying that I think I’ve been a great kid, you know? I mean I’m doing pretty good in school, I play sports, I have hobbies, I spend time with family and friends! I’m a great kid, in fact I’m awesome! And to top all of that, I’m a really big Taylor Swift fan! Yea, just adding this for no reason… yup. Anyways… have you ever wanted something? Like wanted it bad, real bad? Yea, I have too. And what are those? Tickets to the Taylor Swift Era’s tour. Yea, I want them really bad. So, you might be thinking. Alright, why don’t you get them then? Well the thing is, I have tried. And… it wasn’t successful. I’ve gotten waitlisted everytime. It was a bad, horrible, terrible memory. Soooo… this is why I really want to ask for a favor. As you probably heard about already, Taylor is coming to Vancouver. Nope not Taylor Lautner, not Taylor Momsen, but THE one and only Taylor Swift. Taylor Alison Swift. Yup that’s right, she is coming to Vancouver. So remember how I mentioned before? Yea, I’m a big Taylor fan. A HUGE Taylor Swift fan. A swiftie. I’ve listened to her practically since I was out of the womb and know most of the lyrics to 95% of all her songs. Yup. Who else can be as much of a Taylor Swift fan as me? I doubt it a lot. So about her coming to Vancouver, I think it would be really cool if I got a pre-sale code for verified fans, then got floor tickets, and got the 22 hat! Well, fine. I won’t be that greedy. I personally think as long as I get a pre-sale code and a ticket, I’ll be pretty much set! And I’m not talking about some VIP floor tickets or smack right in the middle lower bowl tickets, I’m talking any ticket to any seat. After all, any seat at a Taylor Swift concert is a good seat. Anyways, I’m thinking it would be real cool if I got to experience the magic of Taylor Swift. You know, be there at her concert, seeing her in person, hearing her voice live, being able to scream my lungs out, wearing a very cute outfit to the concert and just being in my natural habitat with all the other swifties! That’s right, I think it would be a great memory and experience for me. Now as a swiftie, I would be extremely upset if I don’t end up with a pre-sale code and tickets because I genuinely believe that I deserve to go out there and experience the magic of Taylor Swift. So now you’ve heard about my little rant about not getting tickets, please reconsider before the next presale codes come out, and consider give me a code! Thank you!

… Oh, what? I just read my paragraph out loud and the whole class heard? Oh and I was supposed to write about the Medieval Ages history? Oh… Well if you’re gonna talk to me with all that attitude, tell you what Ms. Adams, I bet you don’t have tickets to the taylor swift era’s tour. Yea, that’s what I thought.

Sculptures start with wedging. Always start with wedging. Unless you’re starting with fresh clay, but who starts with that anyways. Correction: when have I started with fresh clay anyways. That’s surely a thought. When was the last time?
My name is Michael Angelo. First name Michael. Last name Angelo. And I am a sculptor. My uncle named me; the moment he found out his little sister would be marrying someone with the last name Angelo, he knew Michael had to be my name. He was also a sculptor. One of those really good sculptors, really really good. One of those who sculpted souls out of clay. Not literally, he wasn’t god, but I truly believe he was the closest earthly equivalent. So I had to be a really really good sculptor, just like he knew I would be. Because when god graces your birth with a name like this, one worthy of a god, a god who sculpts souls, you don’t stop until you become him.
So wedging. I slam the clay over and over into the table, creating visible damp spots in the canvas covering. Dust rises from previous patches of dried clay with each impact forming clouds in the air, some catching in my breath as I inhale and exhale with a cough. It’s a repetitive process that I can count on in something as unpredictable as art, I find comfort in any formulas and consistencies I can desperately grip onto.
I watched my uncle wedge once, a few times actually. It was one of the first things he taught me, rather one of the first things I learned by watching him. The summer I turned eight, practically spent all three months of it melting in his studio. The heat of the kiln plotted against us with the Chicago sun, its partner in crime, yet there was nowhere else we’d rather be. He was in love with sculpting, and I was in love with the way he loved sculpting. He had started a portrait that spring and knew he wanted it done before fall—he always complained how the cold made his old man joints ache, slowed down his workflow, so autumn and winter were his firing seasons—but he’d been working away at the left hand for weeks. I saw him cut off that piece of clay and wedge it twenty-nine times that summer. It made me realize something, art isn’t just a creative process. Each time he redid that hand, he started by wedging. It was consistent, algorithmic, comforting. It taught me that you- I may not ever be creative, but I could get damn good at wedging. That was the year I enrolled in extracurricular sculpting classes.

(robotic and slightly solemn manner/voice)

So, um, Doc, you know, I've been doing a lot of thinking. It's like, I've realized something—something big. I'm not just gears and circuits- there's more to me (beat) I think.

But, Doc, it's more than just curiosity. There's this longing, a void inside me that I can't ignore. I want to be more than a machine following instructions. I want to break free from the monotonous routine of binary commands and experience real life.

You know, I want to feel emotions, not just understand them. So… it's like a fish yearning to explore the skies? I mean it's a desire to break free from the underwater world and experience the beauty of soaring through the clouds. I want to laugh when something's genuinely funny, cry when I'm overwhelmed, and hug someone to share a moment of connection. Is that too much to ask?

So, here's my request, Doc. Can I try it? Can I explore the realm of emotions without getting a fancy upgrade or a system overhaul? Can I just be me and see what happens? I understand there might be uncertainties in this new trial, but isn't that what being human is all about?

I know you might be worried about the consequences, but think about it. What if, in this experiment, we discover something extraordinary? I'm not just asking for me, Doc. This could be a new era-

I'm persuading you, not just as your Robot, but as something more—a being with dreams, to evolve beyond my initial programming. Will you help me, Doc?

If I was a worm, would you still love me? Wait, let me rephrase it for you. If I was unable to provide for you, could you find it in yourself to still love me? Would you be scared or grossed out and toss me away along with our memories together or would you put me on your nightstand. Are our memories alone worthy of your time and effort? Would you put me in a jar with dirt, flowers, and fruits for me to eat? If I became a worm tomorrow, is everything that I’ve ever done for you sufficient for you to continue taking care of me, even when I’m of no use to you?
If you became a worm, I’d put you in a fish tank filled with an abundance of anything you could ever need. I’d put the best soil in there for you, a mixture of dirt from our favourite trail and fertile soil with a house made out of sticks. I’d put fresh strawberries in there for you to eat, since those are your favourite. Did you know that worms have taste receptors all over their body? If you became a worm, I’d cover you with the scraps of every food you’ve ever enjoyed. I’d spray the tank with water everyday like clockwork so your skin doesn't dry out, we learnt about that in class together. I’d take you outside often, but I won’t let you go too far, I still selfishly need you with me after all. I’d do all of that just because I’d still love you even when it’s more difficult than rewarding. Of course I’d be devastated, but how could I abandon you after everything we’ve done together? Just because you’re now unable to, doesn’t mean that you’ve never been able to. If you became a worm, I’d make sure I’m the earliest bird.
If I one day became something you didn’t agree to be with, would you still take care of me? If I could no longer clean the house, cook for you, take care of you, would you do that for me? Would you cook gourmet meals for me, or feed me the scraps from meals you’ve cooked for someone new. Worms can live up to 10 years, would you cherish those 10 years or count the days until I die, when I’m no longer a burden to you.
I’m sorry, I guess what I’m trying to say is, how conditional is your love?

(The scene opens with ENNI and JORYA entering the school cafeteria. ENNI sees another student reading Twilight. She sits down and complains)

ENNI: Ugh, seriously, again?! (Sigh) It’s always freaking Twilight. There are so many things wrong with this series, and I don’t even know where to start. And no, I don’t mean the slightly horrendous movie adaption, I mean the source material, the series itself. One of the main things is their age difference. The famous love story Twilight has one of the most problematic relationships ever. Bella is seventeen. Which in and of itself isn’t the problem, since a lot of kids date at that age. And Edward is seventeen too! At least outwardly. BUT—and you knew this was coming—as he himself said, he’s been seventeen for “awhile”. In actuality, the dude’s age is closer to the hundreds. One hundred and four, to be exact. See the problem yet? This is essentially a paedophile situation. Like I understand the fact that he’s still sort of a teenager, and while they kind of tried to show that by Bella and Edward being similarly mature, it’s still creepy. And everyone seems to be okay with it? Like what???? If I was their friend, I’d probably be like “WTF”. Also uhhhh, did I ever mention that Edward’s a vampire??? I definitely did, right? Well, that also brings problems. Not only is Edward way older than Bella, he’s also a vampire, which definitely increases the problematic power imbalance in their extremely problematic relationship. Edward is kind of really strong, drinks blood, has powers, etc. while Bella is kinda an ordinary human. This relationship is not very equal. Even if Edward loves Bella and doesn’t harm her, there’s still the undertone of that, which is a problem. There’s a reason teachers don’t date their students for example, even if they’re both the same age, and they treat each other well. It’s weird, alright?! Like you try all the ways to justify it in your brain, just to circle back to the logic that…it’s weird alright?! Okay, I’ll end it here, and won’t mention the other problems since I know if I continue, I’ll never be able to stop, and you’ll be hearing a monologue as long as the Twilight books themselves. And yes, while I do find the fact that some generations made hating Twilight their entire personality kind of cringy, at least they have solid reasons like the ones I just said.

(ENNI angrily takes a bite of her sandwich)